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Thursday, October 11, 2007

The Road Trip


I’ve just returned from California. This was and was NOT a pleasure trip. Its purpose was to allow my sons dream to come true but in order for his dream to begin my dream had to die. I delivered my precious first born son, O.K., so he’s 22 but he’ll always be my baby, to his new home 1100 miles away from us. His good buddies offered him a room and a job. Now how can that compete with living with mom, dad and brother? I’m ready for him to spread his wings but… couldn’t he do this down the street instead of at the opposite point of the compass (we live in the North West and he now lives in the South West)? GOD, what is your purpose for allowing our family to be separated? As a mother I have spent these 22 years of my son’s life anticipating his adult life, his wife, my grandchildren, etc. Yes, of course I want him to grow up but much closer to me! Why did YOU allow this? What if he gets married while he’s down there and she won’t let him return to us? Oh, the questions go on and the fear of him never being close again looms large. So Lord, what do you have to say about this?


Well, I began to see a pattern in my sorrow and musing… it’s all about ME, I, my.


My son,


My dream,


Me missing him,


Me missing him finding a wife,


Me fearing,


My loneliness…


Need I go on? I heard a great message about the words we listen to and that they need to be God’s words… God’s thoughts, NOT MINE.


God’s word shows me what to do with my wrong thoughts…


“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious-best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” Philippians 4: 6-9 Message


Now when I think of my son 1100 miles away I’m going to use that time to pray for my next road trip to California and watch the Lord shape my sadness into mile markers on Interstate 5!


I’ve got’ta go now. I’m going to go pack!

3 comments:

jennifer said...

Dear CJ
Change, letting go, holding those He has given with an open hand - they are only loaned for a time, to love, to train, to help them discover the gifts and talents He planted deep within. We want them to soar, to become all He planned, but not too high, not too far away. Our love goes with them, but oh, how empty and hallow are the rooms where they once laughed and shared their days with us. Why did we always want them to hurry up and grow up and now that they have, we want time to slow down and go backwards...Comfort is found in the arms of His love. He understands. He is a man of sorrows acquainted with grief. Jesus wept. He knows the loneliness of sons and daughters far from Him. Rest in Him dear friend. He is the Comforter! I know just what you feel...jennifer

Connie Jo Freeman said...

Jennifer,

I know you know. Just Tuesday we talked of the Holy Spirit being the Comforter, like the warmth of another person sitting close. Let's fix our magnifying glass on Jesus, like the little ballerina looking into mommies eyes in order to face her fears. You bring me back to why we loved them so... to release them to God's plan of completing the work he began in them. Tears are healing and your encouragement brought me a flood of tears. Thank you for sharing your heart.

Kim said...

Your willingness to share the tough moments along with the great times is always an encouragement to me. I am very proud of you and your open heart for the Lord to use your sad thoughts into prayerful subjects for your family.
Being a person not driven by your fear but responding by your faith... I am motivated!

Thank you friend,
Kim

Keep on sharing and blogging